


my body is yours (it always will be)

by sobsicles



Series: SOBS SH Bingo [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bodyswap, Clary desperately yearning for Izzy, Clary is not, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Gay Panic, Humor, Izzy is having a great time, Masturbating in a body thats not their own, Masturbation, Pining, Simon is the best bro, Until she is, ive waited so long to write for these two im so happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:55:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22366000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sobsicles/pseuds/sobsicles
Summary: A run-in with a stray Warlock leaves a select few displaced from their own bodies, forced to reside in a body belonging to another. They all have to learn to adapt, and Clary is struggling.See, the problem is, Clary is very, very gay. Not only that, she's very gay for Izzy, specifically."Clary?" Izzy touches her elbow, smiling gently, and it is so odd to see her own face smiling so sweetly at her like that. "You ready to go?"Clary takes a deep breath. "Yep."It should be worth noting that she very much is not.
Relationships: Background Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland - Relationship, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood - Relationship
Series: SOBS SH Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609996
Comments: 21
Kudos: 190
Collections: SHBingo





	my body is yours (it always will be)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoooo, I'm back with some Clizzy, and I'm VERY excited to finally have some time to write for these two. 
> 
> This is for my Shadowhunter Bingo Cards Square: Bodyswap 
> 
> I will be filling in squares at my leisure, so subscribe to my SOBS SH Bingo series and tune in for the next squares I fill! 
> 
> A warning for this fic: I did tag for it, but I will express again, there is masturbating in a body that's not their own; it is, of course, completely okay with the original body owner, but there is brief guilt etc. Resolved, of course. With that being said...
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Clary isn't a violent person, exactly, but since becoming a Shadowhunter, she's found her thoughts often taking a more...dramatic turn, you could say. She knows--and has heard it plenty from Simon--that getting irrationally angry and lashing out over things she has no control over will only lead to regret. 

That being said, this is the kind of situation that fully deserves her wrath. 

"I'm going to kill him," Clary states flatly. 

Magnus chuckles loftily. "Now, now, biscuit, you're starting to sound like Jace. And Alec, if I'm honest." 

Clary sighs unhappily and brushes her hair over her shoulder. Of course, it's not  _ her hair.  _ It's far too smooth, straight, and silky-soft. She resists the urge to run her hands through it, well aware of the number of eyes on her at the moment. 

"It's going to be okay," Simon says, biting nervously on his nail, though it's not at all his nail he's chewing on. "Right, Magnus? We can fix this." 

Jace smacks his hand away from his mouth. "Stop biting my nails," he grumbles, the scowl he's wearing looking at odds on Simon's face. 

"Sorry," Simon mutters, flicking the long blond hair out of his face and sighing. 

"Well, I'm certain we can fix this." Magnus offers a kind smile, which looks strange on Alec's features. His eyes cut to his own body, the one Alec is currently inhabiting--and looking absolutely fascinated about doing so. "Rather,  _ Alec  _ can. Eventually. At some point." 

"Wait,  _ me?"  _ Alec blurts, blinking as he looks up. 

Magnus nods. "Yes, you. It is you with the magic now, after all." 

"Yeah, but I don't know how to use it!" Alec tosses his tan hands up, scrubbing his palms over his eyes, smudging Magnus' makeup. "We're all going to be stuck like this forever." 

"Don't  _ say  _ that," Clary hisses sharply. 

"Yeah, I'm with Iz--uh, Clary," Jace says, throwing an apologetic wince in her direction. "There's no fucking way I'm staying in Simon for longer than I need to." 

There's a pause where everyone stares at him, and it takes him a moment to realize exactly what he just said. He heaves a sigh and looks like he'd rather be anywhere else than here. 

"Oh, Clary," Izzy says, her tiny hands--Clary's tiny hands--cupping her own cheeks, "you blush quite easily, don't you?" 

Clary frowns. "It's a curse." 

"I find it charming," Izzy counters. 

"Okay, Alec and I will work on his grasp of magic while you all learn to coexist for the next...oh, this should take a couple of weeks, at most," Magnus says easily, his smile overly bright. 

Clary can feel the color draining from her face. "A--a couple of  _ weeks,"  _ she chokes out. 

"But--but what about showers, and--and--" Simon cuts himself off, eyes wide, anxiety written clear across his face--which is such a rare look Jace almost never wears. He takes a deep breath and mumbles, "Oh god, I'm gonna have to see Jace  _ naked."  _

"Shut up, Simon, that's a  _ gift."  _ Jace snaps, crossing his arms and huffing. "You're not the one who has to spend the next couple of weeks on a diet of  _ blood."  _

Simon blinks. "Holy shit, I can eat again. I can eat!" 

"Well, this is going to be easy for us," Alec says, reaching up to pat at Magnus' hair, seemingly enthralled by it. "We're a couple, so it's not like we haven't...well." 

"Good for you," Clary snaps, fingers twisting restlessly at her side, heart racing in her chest. 

Izzy sighs. "Clary, it's okay. Come, let's work this out, yes? It's going to be  _ fine."  _

"Yeah, we're the ones with the short straw, here," Jace mutters, wrinkling his nose as he looks down at his borrowed body. "You don't even have to change your diet, and looking at other naked girls is practically normal, right? Or mundane girls, anyway. Don't you, like, take off your bras in front of each other and stuff like that?" 

Simon throws Clary a cautious look. 

"Actually, I didn't have many girls as friends when I was growing up," Clary grits out. "The only person who saw me without a bra was Simon." 

"Oh? Did he now?" Magnus asks in amusement. 

"Holy shit, I can blush again," Simon blurts out, utterly delighted by the pink rising in his cheeks, beaming at everyone. It looks so  _ odd  _ on Jace. 

"Stop that," Jace snaps. 

"Alright, everyone out," Alec orders, standing up with a deep breath. He stares down at his palms, then looks up at them. "I'm going to figure out how to fix this. In the meantime, we tell  _ no one.  _ The Clave cannot catch wind of this. Spend every moment you can tracking down that Warlock." 

Clary pushes herself out of her seat, knocking her hip into the arm of the chair, not quite used to having so many  _ curves.  _ "When we find him," she growls, rubbing her--or rather, Izzy's--hip, "I can't promise that I won't kill him." 

"Fray, wait!" Simon bolts up out of his chair when Clary starts for the door. He stumbles over himself, apparently not anymore used to his new dimensions than anyone else. He halts beside her and tugs her farther away, leaning close to whisper. "You gonna be okay with this? I know that you--" 

"What choice do I have?" Clary murmurs, frowning and throwing the remaining group a look. They're all staring at them. "I'll deal with it, just like I deal with everything else." 

"Jace was wrong, you know," Simon says softly, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. "I know this won't be easy for you. If--if you need to talk or anything, you can call me. You know that." 

Clary sighs. "I know. I'll--I'll be fine. What about you? Are you going to be okay?" 

Simon grimaces. "Uh, this is probably going to be the worst two weeks of my life, but I'll make it. At least I'll be hot for the duration of it." 

"Same," Clary says with a soft smile. She shares a look with Simon. "Plus, you can eat now." 

"Yeah," Simon agrees, perking up. He throws a guilty look at Jace. "Don't tell him, but I feel kinda bad that Jace got saddled with me. Being a vampire isn't a whole lot of fun." 

"You'll need to help him with it," Clary mumbles, cutting her eyes to Jace, lips tipping down. "All I have to do is teach Izzy how to deal with smaller boobs and less curves." 

Simon clicks his tongue. "Don't say that, you look great. Well, I mean,  _ you  _ look great. Not--not that Izzy doesn't, I just-- You know what, it's not a competition. You're both hot, whatever." 

Clary's face softens. "Thanks, Simon." 

"No problem." Simon offers her a grin and a wink, which is very much a Jace thing, even if the delivery isn't as confident. "Now, let's go learn to be other people and teach the hot people who are currently stuck in our bodies how to be us." 

"God, how is this my life?" Clary mutters. 

"Clary, I've been asking myself that since we went to Pandemonium that night," Simon says solemnly, clapping her on the shoulder. He sighs and turns around, waving a hand. "Come on, Jace, let's go get you some O-neg before you start eating people." 

Jace scowls, eyes narrowing. He takes a step forward and is suddenly right next to them, blurring across the room, coming to a stop with wide eyes. "Uh, what the fuck?" he blurts out. 

"Yeah, you'll learn to control it," Simon says, grabbing him by the elbow. "Come on, let's get started. Also, we're stopping for Chinese on the way. I've got a craving." 

Clary listens to them bicker as they head out, arguing about the things that Simon wants to put into Jace's body, about how Jace doesn't want to drink blood. Objectively, their situation is probably the worst. For one, they're not even the best of friends, and for two, their bodies and needs and habits are wildly different. Clary, on the other hand, is still a female and still a Shadowhunter. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, except it really is. 

See, the problem is, Clary is very,  _ very  _ gay. Not only that, she's very gay for  _ Izzy,  _ specifically. 

"Clary?" Izzy touches her elbow, smiling gently, and it is so odd to see her own face smiling so sweetly at her like that. "You ready to go?" 

Clary takes a deep breath. "Yep." 

It should be worth noting that she very much is not. 

* * *

Clary has been in Izzy's room plenty of times. They've sat on the bed together, lounged around and just spent time in each other's company. Clary doing art while Izzy goes through her clothes or reads those intellectual books about dead bodies. They share music with each other, talk about Clary's favorite movies from when she was a kid, do each other's makeup. That's what having a girl as a best friend is supposed to be about, Clary thinks. 

What it's  _ not  _ supposed to be about is one half of the pair desperately wanting to kiss the other. 

"That outfit is  _ ruined,"  _ Izzy says, moving over to her closet with a sigh. She throws the clothes on her own body, the ones Clary is currently wearing, a dirty look like they're at fault and not Clary, who's the one who slipped into mud when she woke up in a body that wasn't her own. "Here, change into these." 

Clary's throat positively closes up. She takes the hanger that Izzy offers her with shaking hands, heart racing in her chest. Then, without preamble, Izzy starts stripping out of Clary's messy clothes, pulling her jacket off and tossing her red hair. The way Izzy settles into her body is like someone doing a cover of a song and making it better. She's not into herself because that would be strange, but watching Izzy's mannerisms exist in her own body is kind of...magical. 

When Izzy gets down to her bra and panties, she pauses. Her movements slow to a stop when she catches sight of herself--of Clary's body--in the mirror, no more covered than if she was in a bikini. She stands there and stares. 

"I'm really pale, I know," Clary croaks, trying for a smile and failing. 

Izzy lifts her gaze in the mirror to catch Clary's, her eyes incredibly soft. "You're beautiful," she corrects, reaching up almost mindlessly to run her fingers over the curve of her neck. "Delicate, almost, though I know you're nothing close to that." 

"Oh." Clary watches Izzy drift her fingers over her own collarbones, heart racing. 

"Are you going to change?" Izzy asks, dropping her hand and watching Clary in the mirror. 

Clary swallows. "Right, yeah, that's--yeah." 

She ducks her head and lays out the clothes Izzy picked out for her. Carefully, she pulls off Izzy's leather jacket, kicking off her heels as she does. She works through Izzy's accessories first, carefully removing her jewelry and belt, keeping her eyes downcast. It's only as she's about to remove her shirt that she glances up. 

Izzy is fully naked, which doesn't bother Clary any. She's seen herself naked plenty, though she never realized that the back of her knees are lightly dusted with pink, rather than as pale as the rest of her. The discoloration bothers her; now that she knows it, she won't ever be able to let it go. However, what's even more upsetting is that Izzy is full-on slipping into her clothes in front of the mirror,  _ facing it,  _ getting to see Clary's naked body in all it's thin, pale glory. 

Clary doesn't know what Izzy thinks of her. Probably nothing, really, because straight girls don't look at other girls and evaluate whether they like their naked bodies or not. That is precisely the problem. Clary isn't  _ straight.  _

She just needs to get through this as quickly as possible, not even pause and think about it. This isn't her body, it's not hers to look at, she can't take liberties; that would be  _ wrong.  _

So, she sets about snatching her clothes off while keeping her eyes planted firmly ahead, not daring to look down or towards the mirror. The shirt comes off over her head, hair ruffling before dropping to slide against her soft skin. She makes quick work of her pants, inwardly cursing at how the back of her hands brush against her thighs. Everything feels so _sensitive,_ her body that's not her own tingling and feeling like a livewire. It takes her a second to realize that she's actually turned on, in Izzy's body, _because of_ _Izzy's body!_ This is so, so not good. 

"Oh wow, I didn't even know I had a scar there," Izzy says, making Clary jolt. She's staring at her own body with a curious smile, walking over to eye herself in faint amusement. "You can't see it, but I have a scar on my side. Just here." 

Izzy reaches out and traces the scar, and Clary honest to god  _ squeaks.  _ Goosebumps rise on her skin, and Izzy just keeps on  _ touching her,  _ which is fair considering its her body that she's putting her hands on. It's not her fault that Clary is a freaking heathen who hasn't learned the art of controlling herself. 

"Uh, Izzy, not--not that you don't have every right to touch your own body, but um, maybe you should let me get dressed first," Clary suggests, trying her best to be as nonchalant as she can. 

Izzy looks at her oddly. "This whole situation is really bothering you. Do you not like my body?" 

"I…" Clary trails off helplessly. Oh hell, Izzy  _ would  _ ask that freaking question. "No, of course I do, it's just… This is just really weird, I guess." 

"Such is our lives." Izzy chuckles and draws back, giving Clary some space. "Just when we think things can't get anymore insane, they  _ do."  _

Clary huffs a laugh and starts unclipping Izzy's bra with shaking fingers. She closes her eyes, refusing to look, no matter how curious she is. It's a fumbling rush-job to get into the new clothes, and she is so thankful that she's used to removing and putting on bras in the dark, that way she can keep her eyes closed until she's fully dressed again. When she opens her eyes, Izzy's standing in front of the mirror, braiding Clary's hair with a small smile. 

"That looks good on me," Clary notes in surprise, slowly walking over to stand beside her. 

Izzy smiles at her. "Most things do. I'm not used to being slightly taller than you." 

"Not  _ that  _ much of a height difference." Clary tilts her head slightly, smiling despite herself. "I'm pretty sure your nose comes to my mouth." 

"I'm sorry this makes you uncomfortable," Izzy murmurs, her smile faltering. "Is there anything I can do to make it easier? We can shower together." 

Clary's eyes bulge. "I--I don't think that's necessary! We'll just put it off for as long as possible, bird baths and stuff. If that's okay?" 

Izzy wrinkles her nose but sighs. "Yeah, that's fine. We'll get through this Clary. You're my best friend; if anyone's equipped to do this, it's us." 

Clary swallows. 

* * *

It's strange seeing Simon--well, Jace, actually--sitting at their table in the cafeteria. Because it is Jace, he looks at ease, and because it's actually Simon, Jace's body looks severely out of place. 

Clary scoots closer to Simon, lowering her voice. "How's everything going?" 

"The only good thing about being stuck in his body is that I can eat," Simon hisses, taking a bite of mashed potatoes to prove his point. "That asshole doesn't want to cooperate at all. He refuses to eat as much as he should, and he's angry that I won't take a shower yet, or let him take one." 

"Izzy's starting to get annoyed too," Clary mumbles, shifting nervously. "She doesn't like seeing her hair get greasy. But Simon, she freaking offered to take a shower  _ with  _ me. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?" 

"Now, that's a good idea," Jace says, leaning across the table in his elbows, shameless in the fact that he was eavesdropping with his vampire hearing. "That's what we need to do, that way I can wash my body, and you can wash yours." 

Simon frowns slightly. "Wouldn't that get a little, uh, touchy-feely?" 

Jace arches an eyebrow. "And? I'd rather touch my own body than let  _ you  _ touch it." 

"Fair enough," Simon mutters, wrinkling his nose and waving a hand. "Later." 

"Oh god, do you think that's why Izzy wanted to do that?" Clary hisses, eyes going wide. "Because she doesn't want me to touch her body?" 

"Pretty sure she doesn't care," Jace says easily, wordlessly pushing his plate over to Alec, who looks odd wearing Magnus' face without much makeup and also delighted by the prospect of more food. 

"We're going to have to shower eventually," Simon tells Clary sympathetically. "Maybe taking one together is the better option." 

Clary bites her lip. 

She puts it off for two more days, wearing Izzy's hair up and slicked back, still in the same bra and panties that she's been wearing for the last four days. She hates it, feeling dirty and grimy, used to taking a shower every day or every other day. And Izzy is beginning to get genuinely upset about it. 

On the fifth day, she's had enough. It's odd for Clary to see her body striding confidently into a room, head held high, eyes bright with determination. She wonders, as she watches herself, if this is how she looks when she goes stomping into situations she fully believes she can handle--nevermind if she can or not. Izzy carries her body with tighter control, less of a mess in her strong will, but it's no less compelling. Clary shrinks back before she even fully opens her mouth to speak. 

When she does, Izzy says, "Okay, you're taking a shower  _ today.  _ I don't know what your problem is, but we're fixing it right now." 

"Okay," Clary replies quickly, launching to her feet, swallowing thickly. "I'll shower. There's no need for you to--to  _ help."  _

Izzy's answering smile is blinding. "Oh, great. Okay, here let me show you what shampoo I use." 

Five minutes later, Clary's getting a crash course in the proper routine that Izzy's hair gets in every shower, apparently. She wishes that she didn't have to know how Izzy does this--small amount of conditioner first, then shampoo, then more conditioner while washing her body. Izzy talks her through the entire process, step-by-step, and Clary listens intently and pretends she's not dying on the inside. Izzy doesn't suspect a thing. Probably. 

After, Izzy leaves her to her own devices, winking as she goes--and what the hell does  _ that  _ mean? Clary puts it out of her head and spends at least ten minutes psyching herself up to do this. 

It's going to be okay; she just has to rush through it, get it over with as efficiently as possible. It will be clinical and detached, nothing more. She'll just get undressed, close her eyes, follow Izzy's instructions, and then get out. She can do this, she  _ can.  _

She undresses quickly, tugging Izzy's hair down, not looking in the mirror. She  _ still  _ hasn't seen the body she's currently occupying naked yet, and everything in her wishes she was as brazen as Izzy is. Without even asking, Izzy had looked at Clary's body without faltering.  _ Because she doesn't desire it,  _ her mind mocks, and that causes a pang in her chest. 

Everything is fine right up until she realizes that there's no fucking washrag in the shower. Nothing to wash her--Izzy's--body with! Nothing but...her hands. Clary nearly cries. 

She ignores it for however long she can, eyes still closed as she scrubs at Izzy's hair with shampoo--after the first coat of conditioner, as requested. Once she rinses that out and applies more conditioner, she knows she can't put it off for much longer. Izzy had instructed her not to rinse out the last coating of conditioner until she finished washing her body, allowing it to set, but not to leave it sitting  _ too long.  _ So now, Clary has no choice but to wash her body, to soap up her hands and--and…

Oh, god. 

Swallowing thickly, she slowly lathers her hands and starts at Izzy's neck. This is fine; it's good, even. There's nothing unusual about it, and Clary  _ refuses  _ to take advantage of this situation. It would be wrong, and she'd probably never be able to look Izzy in the eye ever again if she did. 

Of course, she thinks that right up until her slick hands glide over a nipple by complete accident as she spreads the soap down. A jolt shoots through her instantly, and the nipple puckers and tightens in response. Clary releases a shaky breath, eyes snapping open as her teeth come down to bite on her lower lip, which is plump and also Izzy's. 

This is not going well. 

She slides her hands down past Izzy's breasts, doing her best to ignore them, full-on chewing on her bottom lip now as she lathers up Izzy's solid midsection. Her skin feels so  _ hot,  _ and tingles run an insistent undercurrent through her, and there's a throbbing starting between her legs. 

Clary sucks in a deep breath and holds it, dragging her hands down her sides, spreading suds over her hips. She bends down to wash down her legs, still holding her breath, her lungs protesting. And that's where she messes up. As she straightens up, she glances down and takes in Izzy's naked body for the very first time, her breath punching out of her, awed by the expanse of smooth, tan skin she is now very aware is soft to touch. Her breasts are practically perfect, heavy with a round ring of light brown around tightened nipples. Clary's mouth waters; she desperately wants to get her lips on them. 

And it's so  _ strange _ to crave the body she's in, to want it so deeply that a spread of heat pulses between her legs, right at the core of her--except it's not  _ her  _ at all. 

Clary clamps her eyes shut and goes back to washing her body, taking shallow breaths, trying with all her might to ignore her aching clit. She manages well, at first, cleaning what parts of her back that she can reach, down the back of her legs, even her feet. She gets into the motion of it, bottom lip held tight between her teeth, so tense that she can barely think. Her hands feel  _ so good _ , and the body she's touching is even better, and she just--she  _ wants.  _

The next mistake happens much the same way as the first. She backs up into the spray, rinsing her hair, then automatically swipes her hands down her body to help the water rinse away the suds. Again, her fingers brush over her nipples, and this time, there's nothing casual about it. Her head drops and her hands stop, fingers perched right over those nipples, and she shouldn't--she  _ really  _ shouldn't. 

It's wrong, she knows it's wrong, but she's so turned on at the moment that she's not thinking straight. Which, yeah, that's precisely the problem. 

Fingers trembling, she brushes over the tightened buds once again, a whimper falling from her lips as her clit throbs in response. Without conscious thought, she lightly pinches her nipples, rolling them between her fingers, and her knees feel weak. 

"Fuck," Clary chokes out, eyes fluttering briefly before closing yet again. 

Slowly, she eases her right hand down, dragging her fingers over Izzy's torso and stomach, past her belly-button, and she just keep right on going. Her hand dips between her thighs and come in contact with the soft curls Izzy has waiting there, which steals her breath. Her whole body wracks with trembles, and she pants as she carefully presses one finger between the folds. 

When her fingers brush that tight mound of nerves, Clary chokes out a garbled sound she can't make sense of, leaning to the side to brace her shoulder against the cold tile of the wall. It's over after that; there's no stopping her now. 

Throwing all caution to the wind, Clary circles her finger around her clit, plucking at her nipple, breathing heavily as the steam in the room aids her in going lightheaded. She spreads her shaky legs, tipping her head back, gasping as water cascades over her shoulder and down her body. Her finger brushes back and forth in earnest, making her mind go blank, and it's so,  _ so  _ filthy how she's getting off on this. Pleasuring herself to Izzy's body,  _ in  _ Izzy's body, so hot and bothered that she can barely breathe. 

Reckless, wanton with desire, she guides her finger back, pressing up into her hole, pressing the palm of her hand against her clit. She goes fast then, fucking up into herself and moving her hand back and forth over that little tangle of pleasure that makes her see stars. Her jaw unhinges, whole body tensing, and then she's coming, coming hard and intense. 

"Oh god, oh god,  _ Izzy,"  _ she moans, hand rocking back and forth, slowing as her body twitches at the sensitivity of the touch. 

Gasping, she stands there like that for a moment, eyes closed. Everything is just  _ Izzy, Izzy, Izzy…  _ What she wants, what she cries out, even her own body, currently. 

Then she opens her eyes, withdrawing her hand and bringing it up to cover her mouth. Shame hits her immediately, horrified by what she's just done. It's an  _ invasion,  _ it's--it's so wrong. Clary feels tears well up in her eyes, and she doesn't know what to do. She can't take it back now, can't do anything but live with it. And she knows, as much as it terrifies her, that she has to tell Izzy; she  _ has to.  _

Her limbs shake as she finishes the shower; not only from the amazing orgasm, but from fear. 

***

"I did a horrible,  _ horrible  _ thing." 

Simon snorts over the phone. "Ah, come on, Clary, it can't be  _ that  _ bad. This is you we're talking about." 

"Simon," Clary whispers, barely holding back her tears, "I--I did something to...no,  _ with  _ Izzy's body that I shouldn't have." She swallows thickly and let's out a wet whimper. "Without her consent." 

There's a brief silence, then Simon sighs. "You totally masturbated, didn't you?" 

_ "Yes,"  _ Clary chokes out, eyes sinking shut in shame and guilt. "Simon, I didn't  _ mean  _ to. I just--it just happened, and now...now, I'm not sure what to do." 

"If it makes you feel any better, something happened with me and Jace," Simon offers awkwardly, clearing his throat. "We tried the showering together thing. It was, uh, very touchy-feely. Like I fucking  _ said  _ it would be. Weirdest hand-job I've ever given, trust and believe. You can't imagine what it's like to see your own dick from an outside perspective." 

Despite herself, Clary actually  _ does  _ feel better, if not a little stunned. "Wait, you--you gave Jace a hand-job? You gave your own  _ dick  _ a hand-job?" 

"It's been a weird day," Simon admits, then coughs loudly. "To be fair, Jace gave me a hand-job at the same time. It was...mutual. So." 

_ "That's  _ fine, Simon," Clary hisses, tugging roughly at Izzy's hair, then smoothing over it in apology. "I mean, it's a little...you know, but it was consensual. Izzy's going to  _ hate  _ me when she finds out." 

Simon hums pensively. "Maybe not. Maybe she won't care. Hey, just tell her she can masturbate in your body, that way it's even, ya know?" 

"I don't think she's going to want to." Clary knocks her head back against her pillow, despaired. "She's straight, Simon." 

"Oh yeah, been meaning to tell you, Jace says that she's actually not," Simon says easily, like this isn't groundbreaking information. "He overheard our conversation that day at Magnus', and he just said that Izzy has been with girls before." 

Clary stares up at her ceiling, wide-eyed. "Holy shit," she whispers, then bolts straight up in the bed. "You mean to tell me I might have had a chance with Izzy, only to ruin it by masturbating in her body, pretty much ensuring that she'll be disgusted and never speak to me again?" 

"Uh," Simon says nervously. 

A knock sounds at Clary's door, and she jerks her head towards it. After a moment, she watches her own face poke in with a kind smile. Simon is saying something, but she doesn't listen, just quickly hangs up and sits her phone aside. Her fidgeting hands land in her lap and she swallows as Izzy walks inside. 

"Fresh out the shower," Izzy says brightly, waving her damp red hair as proof. "It feels great. What about you? Feeling better after a shower?" 

Clary kicks her covers off and scrambles out of bed, tears pricking at her eyes yet again. "Izzy, I'm so  _ sorry.  _ I--I shouldn't have done it, but...but it just happened. And I know that's not an excuse, and if you hate me, that's okay. Just--" 

"Woah, woah, what are you talking about?" Izzy asks, eyebrows furrowing in shock as Clary steps close to her. "Did you do something? Are you okay?" 

"In the shower…" Clary stops, pressing her lips together, the words locked in her throat. Izzy raises her eyebrows, clearly confused. Mortified, Clary points down towards the most intimate part of her body--of  _ Izzy's  _ body. "I--you know." 

Izzy blinks at her, then follows the direction of Clary's point with her gaze. She blinks once more, then lets out a startled laugh. "You--you… Did you, really?" 

"Yes," Clary whispers, throat thick, heart racing in her chest. She has never felt so  _ horrible.  _

"What was it like?" Izzy watches her curiously, tilting her head. "Getting off in my body must have been different. Did you do it the way  _ you  _ like it, or how it feels good to  _ my  _ body?" 

"Wait, what?" Clary jerks back in surprise, lips parting. "Are--aren't you mad? Izzy, I freaking used your body to masturbate without even  _ asking."  _

Izzy grins at her. "I know. Naughty girl. Was it good?" 

_ "Izzy!"  _ Clary blurts out, astonished. 

"Clary, I'm not  _ mad,  _ relax." Izzy shakes her head and laughs again, rolling her eyes. "Come on, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. Turns out you're just a little braver than I am." 

"You  _ want  _ to--to…" Clary frowns slightly, looking at her own face twisting into a devious expression, nothing innocent about it. "You can, you know. If--if you really want to. After I did, it's only fair." 

Izzy's eyes sparkle, green and bright. "You really thought I'd hate you for that? I mean, yes, ask for permission with anyone else, but come on...this is  _ me  _ we're talking about." 

"It was wrong," Clary insists. 

"Maybe, a little," Izzy says. "But that's what makes it fun. And hot, actually." 

Clary shakes her head seriously. "Izzy, I'm serious. I  _ knew  _ it was wrong, and I still did it. I...I invaded your privacy, used your body, there was no consent." 

"Okay, hey, so you were wrong." Izzy reaches out to smooth her hands down Clary's arms. "I forgive you, okay? And from here on out, you have my full permission to use my body how you like." 

"Don't tell me that," Clary whispers, taking in a ragged breath. "You can't say that to me." 

"Why not?" It's Izzy's turn to frown in confusion. 

Clary fights against the tightness in her chest, against the lodge in her throat. It takes a lot, but she finally says, "Izzy, I'm--I'm gay." 

"Okay," Izzy replies calmly. "But why can't I tell you that?" 

"Because I'm  _ gay,  _ Izzy," Clary repeats, this time more forcefully. "It's more than just getting off in your body. It's--it's getting off  _ to  _ your body." 

Izzy blinks. "Okay, again, why can't--" 

"Izzy!" Clary bursts out, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her slightly. "I'm gay  _ for you!"  _

"Yes,  _ okay,"  _ Izzy shoots back, narrowing her eyes and huffing. "Once  _ again,  _ why can't I tell you that? You're attracted to me, so what?" 

"It's more than  _ that,"  _ Clary hisses. "I'm not  _ just _ attracted to you, Izzy. God, I'm… Can't you tell? I'm basically head over heels in love with you." 

"Oh." Izzy pauses, going still as she takes that in, then her lips curl up slightly. "Then, in that case, let me amend my statement. You can do whatever you want to my body, even after I get back into it." 

Clary's breath escapes her all at once. "What?" she whispers, heart stumbling in her chest. 

Izzy's face softens and she steps closer, reaching up to cradle her cheeks. "Clary, I'm not even a little bit straight, and I would be  _ very  _ happy to be yours. I--I don't have best friends, not really, and I didn't know how to tell you that I've been wanting to kiss you for months. I thought you'd stop being so close to me if I tried anything, and I didn't want to lose you." 

_ "I'm  _ your best friend," Clary murmurs fiercely, magnetized by the depth of emotion in Izzy's eyes, in her own green gaze. "And you won't lose me. If you'll have me, I'll treat you so good, just like you deserve." 

Izzy's smile is breathtaking. 

* * *

Alec waves his own hands in the air, heaving a deep sigh. "I think I'm gonna miss the magic." 

"Yes! Thank g--fuck!" Simon roams his hands over his face and hair, looking delighted. He darts back and forth across the room, flicking his fangs in and out, beaming. "I'm me again!" 

"Well," Magnus says cheerfully, "at least I can honestly say I've sucked my own--" 

_ "Anyway,"  _ Jace cuts him off, wrinkling his nose even as he runs his fingers through his blond hair with an appreciative sigh. "I have never been so glad to be able to look at Simon." 

Everyone pauses to stare at him. 

"Rather than  _ be  _ him," Jace snaps, glaring at everyone, looking annoyed at their amused silence. 

"I think I'll miss it," Izzy comments, her hand reaching out to lightly touch the curve of Clary's neck, her smile sharp and wide. "Personally, I had a  _ great  _ time with Clary's body." 

"Don't you mean  _ in  _ Clary's body?" Simon asks. 

Izzy arches an eyebrow. "I know what I said. 

"Right," Simon chokes out, "okay then." 

"But think of all the possibilities we have now," Clary comments in amusement, dragging her gaze over Izzy's body, biting her lip. 

"I hate all of you," Jace mutters. 

"Aw, does Simon have a bigger dick than you?" Izzy teases, her eyes bright with humor. 

"About the same, actually," Simon answers, shrugging when Jace glares at him. "What? I'm just being honest. I mean, yours is a little longer, so it goes deeper when you have sex, but that feels good. Mine, on the other hand, is--" 

"Simon!" Jace growls, tossing up a hand and groaning as he facepalms. 

Magnus grins like a shark catching the scent of blood in the water. "Oh, and how do  _ you  _ know that it feels good? Who've you had sex with in Jace's body?" 

Clary snorts when Simon freezes like a deer caught in headlights, his face giving him away instantly. Through the curtain of his hair, Jace's face is bright red. 

"It's okay, we all did it," Izzy reassures him, looking over at Clary warmly. "It was fun, wasn't it?" 

"Yeah, but I'm glad we're back to being  _ us  _ again," Clary admits. She bites her lip and stares at Izzy, heart fluttering in her chest. "You know, I haven't actually kissed  _ you  _ yet." 

Izzy looks at her, expression gentle, eyes soft. Without another word, she leans forward and catches Clary's lips with her own. Clary's breath hitches and she inhales sharply, butterflies erupting in her stomach as she cards her hands through Izzy's hair and kisses her back deeply. When they break apart, they stare at each other, intensity locking them in place, falling in love right there on the spot. 

"That's sweet," Magnus comments. 

Simon sighs. "Isn't it?" 

"I'm not kissing you, Simon," Jace declares, picking his head up to glare at him. 

"Fine, don't," Simon retorts. 

They start bickering, just as they always do, no matter what body they're in, and Clary stops paying attention. She doesn't care about them right now, not really. They'll be making out by the end of the week if they're smart, maybe a month if they're stupid, and she finds that she'd rather just stare at Izzy than invest her attention into anything else. 

"Okay, shut up, you're fucking, we get it," Alec snaps, cutting Jace off from whatever sharp insult he had queued up. He ignores it when Jace glances at him in betrayal. "Izzy, Clary, stop gazing at each other. Seriously, we need to find the Warlock still." 

Magnus hums in approval. "There he is, my man in charge. Oh, I love it," he murmurs, reaching up to rub the cuff on his ear. 

Alec shoots him a brief look, lips twitching. "Alright, so let's get ready. We have a lead." 

Clary pushes to her feet. "Still gonna kill him." 

The resounding laughter she receives from that is warm and happy, and she smiles in response. When Izzy stands up beside her, slipping her hand into Clary's palm, the smile grows. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope youe enjoyed. If you did, don't hesitate to drop of some kudos and please leave me a comment; I truly do adore them!
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


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